Make a member laugh

A man and his wife go to their
honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected
on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband,
"When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was
going through your mind?"

The husband replied, "All I
wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits
dry."

Then, as the wife undressed, she
asked, "What are you thinking now?"

He replied, "It looks as if
I did a pretty good job."

This guy wakes up out of a deep sleep and,
feeling real horny, nudges his wife awake and asks, "Why don't
we get it on, eh?" She replies, "I have an appointment at
the gynecologist tomorrow and you know I don't like to make love the
night before." So the husband agrees and rolled back over and
started to go back to sleep.

A few minutes later, he nudges his wife again
and asks, "You don't by any chance have a dentist's appointment
tomorrow, do you?"

A police officer was patrolling the highway
when he sees a guy tied up to a tree, crying. The officer stops and
approaches the guy. "What's going on here?", he asks. The
guy sobs, "I was driving and picked up a hitchhiker. He pulled
a gun on me, robbed me, took all my money, my clothes, my car and
then tied me up." The cop studied the guy for a moment, and
then pulled down his pants and whipped out his dick. "I guess
this isn't your lucky day, pal!"

A farmer is lying in bed with his wife when he
turns to her grabs her tits and says "Honey if you could get
milk out of these we could sell the cow". Then he grabs her
pussy and says "Honey if you could get eggs out of here we
could sell the chickens". She turns to him smiles,grabs his
dick and says "Honey if you could get this up I could get rid
of your brother"

My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class
give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year! You'd
better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."

A small church had a very attractive big-breasted organist and her
breast were so large that they bounced and juggled while she played the
organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation.


The
very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be
done about this or they would have to get another organist.



So,
one of the ladies approached her about the problem, and told her to
mash up some green persimmons and rub them over her breasts, which
should cause them to shrink in size. She warned her not to taste any of
the green persimmons, because they are so sour they will make your mouth
pucker up, and you won't be able to talk properly for a while.

The voluptuous organist reluctantly agreed to try it.

The following Sunday morning the minister walked up to the pulpit and made an announcement:

"Dew to thir cumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not hab a thermon tewday."

Suggsy wrote:.
A few minutes later, he nudges his wife again
and asks, "You don't by any chance have a dentist's appointment
tomorrow, do you?"

That one i really liked and ....... the Fanta one .... cute play on words.

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Nice jokes guys!

Needed that today.

A man in his 40's goes in for a physical.
The doctor says "I have good news and I have bad news."
The man says, "Give me the bad news first."
Doc
says, "There is a problem with your penis, you can only get a few more
erections, and then you won't have any more for the rest of your life."
The man says, "What in the world is the good news?"
Doc says, "We know the number is exactly 25, so you can plan your use of them accordingly."
The man leaves and drives around for a couple hours pondering his situation, and how to confront his wife.
When he gets home he tells her, "Honey, I have good news, and I have bad news."
She says, "Give me the good news."
He says, "I can only have 25 more erections, and then I can't have any more, ever."
She
says, "We can work around that, we will just make a list and only use
them when it is absolutely necessary to fulfill our desires, and make
the most out of each one, what in the world is the bad news?"
He says, "I made a list, and you aren't on it.

"After 10 years of marriage, sex with my wife is down to three times a year."
"Same here, Pal. As a matter of fact, if mine didn't sleep with her mouth open, I'd have none at all."

I just LOVED the "tourettes" T-shirt ..too funny ..

Love these jokes you put up Stu!

\Thank you for the laughs today

Maybe not funny, but very thought provoking...I can't help staring at this one


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